Growing up in an evangelical Christian household, I was shielded from “the world.” That’s what we called anything outside of our belief system—secular ideas, influences, even people.
I went to a Christian school. I had only Christian friends. I listened exclusively to Christian music.
The idea was simple: protect your child from evil influences and they’ll stay on the right path for life.
The idea was simple: protect your child from evil influences and they’ll stay on the right path for life.
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6
This method worked... until it didn’t.
When Exposure Meets Curiosity
My first science class at a secular college introduced me to evolution in a way that actually made sense. I wasn’t under my father’s roof anymore, and according to everything I’d been taught, this was the moment Satan would pounce—ready to destroy my faith like a lion stalking its prey.
It’s not like I hadn’t heard of evolution before. My Christian school made sure we understood it was wrong—an attack on God himself. We were prepped with rebuttals: Scientists who promoted evolution were deceived, possibly evil. The idea that humans evolved from monkeys? Ridiculous.
But in that college classroom, I heard new perspectives, and I couldn’t explain them away. What was I supposed to do—pretend I hadn’t heard them? Ignore the part of me that whispered, What if they’re right?
Indoctrination by Design
This is why so many evangelical parents insist their kids attend Christian colleges. More indoctrination equals less risk. Keep reinforcing the same beliefs into young adulthood and you create a path that’s hard—though not impossible—to walk away from.
But there’s a difference between shielding a child and stunting their growth.
And I believe my growth was stunted.
And I believe my growth was stunted.
I wasn’t taught how to think—I was told what to think.
I never got to hear from people who believed differently unless they had already “seen the light.”
Atheist? Only if they’d converted to Christianity.
Evolution? Only if it came with a Christian takedown.
I never got to hear from people who believed differently unless they had already “seen the light.”
Atheist? Only if they’d converted to Christianity.
Evolution? Only if it came with a Christian takedown.
What I Missed
Music was another boundary. Secular music was forbidden, so I listened to Christian bands mimicking popular styles. Instead of Nirvana, I had DC Talk. Instead of Rage Against the Machine, I had the Newsboys. Looking back, I grieve the depth and artistry I missed—music that could have helped me question, feel, and grow.
But it wasn’t just music.
That bubble delayed so many parts of my development. I’ve only started catching up since leaving Christianity in my mid-30s.
Sometimes I feel behind my peers.
Sometimes I don’t get references from the ‘90s, even though those were my teen years.
And honestly? That sucks.
Sometimes I feel behind my peers.
Sometimes I don’t get references from the ‘90s, even though those were my teen years.
And honestly? That sucks.
But Catching Up Is a Wild, Beautiful Ride
Even though my evolution was delayed, my adult life is making up for lost time. These days feel electric—like discovering myself for the first time.
While many people my age already know who they are, I’m just now asking:
- What clothes do I actually like?
- What kind of home feels good to me?
- Do I even want a big house, or would a cozy, low-maintenance one make me happier?
- What kind of parent do I want to be?
- What turns me on sexually?
- What music moves me?
- What boundaries do I need?
(Boundaries? Didn’t even learn about those until I was 40!)
These questions are part of the evolution we all go through. I just started late.
So Did It Hinder Me?
Yes.
Being raised in the bubble held me back.
Because you don’t know what you don’t know.
Being raised in the bubble held me back.
Because you don’t know what you don’t know.
I had no idea how flawed and sometimes flat-out silly some of the things I believed were.
I didn’t know there were reasonable, even beautiful, explanations out there—ones I was taught to fear or mock.
I didn’t know there were reasonable, even beautiful, explanations out there—ones I was taught to fear or mock.
In my experience, evangelical Christianity doesn’t produce thinkers—it creates followers. I was one.
But through years of inner work, I’ve reprogrammed those old belief systems. I’ve done the hard work of learning how to think for myself.
And now? I feel empowered. Capable. Curious. Alive.
And now? I feel empowered. Capable. Curious. Alive.
I’ve even learned to like me—really like me.
And that may be the most radical transformation of all.
And that may be the most radical transformation of all.
Love, Can💕
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