Recent Blog Posts

This blog post delves into the repercussions of conformity, particularly within a religious upbringing, and the courage it takes to break free from it. Raised in an evangelical household, the narrative recounts a life once fully given to adherence, sacrificing personal dreams and identity to align with familial and divine expectations. However, this conformity, though it promised community and belonging, ultimately proved to be an unfulfilling and hollow experience, prompting a journey of rebellion and self-discovery.

As the author transitions from full-time motherhood to facing an uncertain future after their children grow up, they explore the disillusionment that comes with redefining one's identity beyond traditional roles. The fear of pursuing personal passions is palpable, as it challenges the deeply ingrained roles of being an ideal wife and mother. Yet, the realization dawns that a life built solely on conformity to outdated norms doesn't yield the promised rewards, prompting introspection about what truly constitutes personal freedom and fulfillment.

The piece concludes with an empowering message that true freedom and fulfillment are not found in conforming to societal or religious expectations but in nurturing one's inner self. The author advocates for embracing change, pursuing personal dreams, and investing in oneself as keys to a good future. Ultimately, the post encourages readers to seek authenticity and self-trust, offering support to others on similar journeys through services like hypnotherapy consultations.

Growing up in a fervently evangelical home, the author shares their journey from being enveloped in traditional religious beliefs to experiencing a profound personal transformation. Initially, life seemed like a perfect picture of Christian values, but beneath the surface, there was a struggle with anxiety and the pressure to sustain a particular image. The tipping point came with a heartfelt prayer seeking truth, sparking an unforeseen unraveling of their old identity and fostering the dawn of a personal resurrection.

This profound metamorphosis, described as being "born again," involved shedding inherited beliefs and engaging with faith on a deeper, more genuine level. As old friends retreated and familial ties strained, the author embraced a relationship with Christ marked by inquiry and an openness unknown before. It was a renewal rooted not in traditional doctrine but in a willingness to let go, to question, and to trust beyond the conditioned understandings of childhood.

Deconstruction didn’t signify the end but the beginning of a more authentic journey. By stepping into the unknown and rejecting inherited interpretations, the author discovered that true rebirth often arises from doubt and the courage to unlearn. They underscore that a sincere quest for truth requires openness to unfamiliar revelations, advising others that embracing uncertainty and curiosity can provide an opportunity for profound spiritual rebirth.

For years, I believed my voice didn’t matter—discarded letters, ignored emails, and unanswered words reinforced that painful message. But through healing, mindset shifts, and hypnotherapy, I reclaimed my voice. In this personal reflection, I share my journey of overcoming self-doubt, understanding the power of focus, and choosing to write for those who truly listen. If you've ever felt unheard, this one's for you.

Today, I had an online conversation with someone who stirred a feeling I know all too well. What’s that feeling, you ask? Shame—for disagreeing.

If you can relate, humor me by reading on.

I grew up in a fundamentalist version of Christianity, where disagreement wasn’t encouraged—it was condemned. It wasn’t just frowned upon; in many cases, it was considered a sin.

Think babies can be baptized? Un-Christlike! What? You don’t believe in the rapture!? You, my "friend," are a heretic. I could go on for pages. It’s no wonder Protestantism has fractured into thousands of denominations—each one birthed from a disagreement that wasn’t allowed to simply exist.

But is that healthy? Or even reasonable?

I would argue that it isn’t. Sitting with the discomfort of disagreement helps us grow. It stretches us. We learn to love unconditionally when we can’t see eye to eye yet still choose to allow space for differing views—without shame. Because, quite frankly, no one (least of all me) knows it all.

In my social media exchange today—let’s call them Avery—we had opposing opinions. Instead of a conversation that explored our differences, I was told, You’re wrong. Period.

And just like that, my subconscious kicked into fight-or-flight. The same script played in my head: I’m wrong. I don’t know anything. Who do I think I am to disagree? Just agree and move on.

I sat with the feeling but focused on my body instead.

My abdomen tightened. My breath grew shallow. This was my nervous system doing what it had been trained to do. As a woman raised in evangelical Christianity, I know this reaction well. But as someone who has deconstructed from so much of my former faith and conditioning, I recognize it for what it is—a subconscious program implanted by others. And today, I chose to see it as an opportunity to stay curious and grow.

The conversation itself isn’t the point. The point is that I recognized a pattern—one I’ve noticed before—and I made a conscious decision to disrupt it.

In the past, my default was to assume I was wrong, especially when someone spoke with authority or used words I didn’t know. (Shoutout to my online dictionary—an invaluable tool in my deconstruction journey.) But awareness is step one. Now that I see this programming, it’s time to rewrite it. Not just because it doesn’t serve me, but because I believe it’s unhealthy for anyone to be this suggestible to voices outside their own.

We won’t always be right. But we must be able to trust ourselves.

If I had immediately agreed with Avery just to avoid conflict, I would have been dishonest—with them and with myself. Disagreement isn’t a dead end. I could research more and discover they’re right. Or that I am. Or that we’re both wrong. Or that the entire debate has no real-world impact. Whatever the outcome, I would gain knowledge, which is never a bad thing.

But there’s another option.

We could simply disagree and be okay with that.

No shame. No forcing the other to see it our way. Just mutual respect.

Either way, give yourself the space to decide on your own terms.

And if you need help learning how to trust your own inner guidance system—that’s what I do! Reach out.

Love,
Can

Embarking on a spiritual journey can be profoundly transformative yet often accompanied by poignant feelings of loneliness, especially when deconstructing from a church community that once provided significant social and emotional support. As you navigate this solitary quest for truth and authenticity, the sense of isolation can feel overwhelming. However, it’s important to recognize that the narrow path of spiritual exploration, although uniquely personal, is enriched by the occasional, meaningful companionship of others who help guide and support us along the way.

Despite the daunting solitude, there is hope and comfort in knowing that the divine presence is a constant companion. This eternal connection provides unparalleled security and love, reminding us that we are never truly alone on our journey. Friends and temporary yet profound connections also offer wisdom and encouragement precisely when needed, ensuring that even in our loneliest moments, we are understood and supported.

Ultimately, while the innermost aspects of our spiritual quest remain uniquely our own, the spirit ensures we are accompanied by divine presence and love. Embrace the solitude with an open heart, knowing that it is filled with divine companionship. This spiritual guidance nudges us gently towards greater understanding and fulfillment, assuring us of continuous divine assistance throughout our transformative journey.